Released: July 19, 1994
Songwriter: Coolio
Producer: Wino
[Verse 1]
Seven in the morning, standing in the line
Three fools in front of me, drinking on some wine
Two in the back of me, sucking on a joint
And one in back of them, begging for a Newport
There's four or five suckers way, way in the back
Stooped down low in the crowd smokin' crack
They looking at me funny 'cause I got a record out
And a nigga with a record out supposed to have some clout
A fourth of the people in the line need help
But the other fourth of that haven't helped they'self
A fourth of the people haven't been fed
And all of the rest are fucked up in the head
A bald-headed stank bitch is about to make me laugh
And a nigga who need a bath is asking for my autograph
Ain't nothing changed but the time
I got to get mine, so I'm standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
[Verse 2]
I walked through the front door, fill out my app
Here comes another sap, asking if I rap
I don't say a word 'cause he know that I do
I'm down with the MAAD ass U know Hoo!
I take a number and a seat
I'm sweating from the heat
Somebody got their shoes off
I smell they feet
My number is 80, it's still on 20
I look up at the clock and now it's 10:30
Free butter and cheese oh please, oh please
Can I get my food stamps so I can leave?
I got money and a car but they don't know it
Now they ask a gang of questions 'cause I told them I was homeless
I'm living in a car drive back in the alley
But I use to shack up with a hooker named Sally
Line after line, rough is the time
My life is in a bind so I'm standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
[Verse 3]
I'm sittin' at a desk talking to a social worker
She thinks I'm a fool but I know that I can jerk her
-Punk ass ho' sittin' behind the window all toe up ass tramp
Runnin' that ol' weak shit talkin' bout
"You have a penitentiary record"
-I said I know that BIATCH!
She wants to know what kind of work do I do
I said I haven't worked since 1982
I can't find a job though I looked and I've looked
Took one hit of the crack and was hooked
She sittin' there wondering when I'll get to the point
And the whole time I'ma wishing I can smoke me a joint
Job search worker project [?] necks
And in a few weeks I'll get my check
Now I got to wait for them to call me to the window
So I can get a voucher for the hotel and the bath show
It's 5:13 by the clock on the wall
[?] brought some change so I can make a phone call
[?] times at 29
That's why so many niggas is standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
Seven in the morning, standing in the line
Three fools in front of me, drinking on some wine
Two in the back of me, sucking on a joint
And one in back of them, begging for a Newport
There's four or five suckers way, way in the back
Stooped down low in the crowd smokin' crack
They looking at me funny 'cause I got a record out
And a nigga with a record out supposed to have some clout
A fourth of the people in the line need help
But the other fourth of that haven't helped they'self
A fourth of the people haven't been fed
And all of the rest are fucked up in the head
A bald-headed stank bitch is about to make me laugh
And a nigga who need a bath is asking for my autograph
Ain't nothing changed but the time
I got to get mine, so I'm standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
[Verse 2]
I walked through the front door, fill out my app
Here comes another sap, asking if I rap
I don't say a word 'cause he know that I do
I'm down with the MAAD ass U know Hoo!
I take a number and a seat
I'm sweating from the heat
Somebody got their shoes off
I smell they feet
My number is 80, it's still on 20
I look up at the clock and now it's 10:30
Free butter and cheese oh please, oh please
Can I get my food stamps so I can leave?
I got money and a car but they don't know it
Now they ask a gang of questions 'cause I told them I was homeless
I'm living in a car drive back in the alley
But I use to shack up with a hooker named Sally
Line after line, rough is the time
My life is in a bind so I'm standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
[Verse 3]
I'm sittin' at a desk talking to a social worker
She thinks I'm a fool but I know that I can jerk her
-Punk ass ho' sittin' behind the window all toe up ass tramp
Runnin' that ol' weak shit talkin' bout
"You have a penitentiary record"
-I said I know that BIATCH!
She wants to know what kind of work do I do
I said I haven't worked since 1982
I can't find a job though I looked and I've looked
Took one hit of the crack and was hooked
She sittin' there wondering when I'll get to the point
And the whole time I'ma wishing I can smoke me a joint
Job search worker project [?] necks
And in a few weeks I'll get my check
Now I got to wait for them to call me to the window
So I can get a voucher for the hotel and the bath show
It's 5:13 by the clock on the wall
[?] brought some change so I can make a phone call
[?] times at 29
That's why so many niggas is standing in the county line
[Chorus]
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
'Cause it's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
more tracks from the album
It Takes A Thief
- Fantastic Voyage (Timber Mix)
- Fantastic Voyage
- U Know Hoo
- Thought You Knew
- I Remember
- Mama, I’m In Love Wit A Gangsta
- Sticky Fingers
- Smokin’ Stix
- Bring Back Somethin Fo Da Hood
- It Takes A Thief
- Hand On My Nutsac
- On My Way To Harlem
- N Da Closet
- Ghetto Cartoon
- County Line
- Ugly Bitches
- Can-O-Corn
- Fantastic Voyage (LP Version) [Explicit]
From the album
- It Takes A Thief (1994)
Coolio popular songs
- Gangsta’s Paradise
- Aw, Here It Goes (Kenan and Kel Show Theme Song)
- C U When U Get There
- 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin’ New)
- Fantastic Voyage
- Gangsta’s Paradise (Re-Recorded)
- I Like Girls
- Take It to the Hub
- Gangsta Walk
- Too Hot
- Fantastic Voyage (Timber Mix)
- I Breaks ’Em Off
- Life
- Knock Out Kings
- It’s All The Way (Now)
- Too Hot (LP Version) [Explicit]
- Ugly Bitches (LP Version) [Explicit]
- Aw Here It Goes (Theme From Kenan + Kel)
- I Remember (Album Mix)
- It’s All The Way Live
- Devil Is Dope (LP Version) [Explicit
- Show Me Love
- It’s All the Way Live (Now) (Timber mix)
- Gangsta’s Paradise (instrumental)