Released: June 5, 2001

Songwriter: Jeff Bass Bizarre Swifty McVay Proof ​dEnAun Kuniva Eminem

Producer: Jeff Bass Eminem

[Intro: Eminem]
Uh
Yo, yo, yo, yo

[Chorus: Eminem]
I take a couple uppers
I down a couple downers
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountain
Once or twice, but who's countin'?
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills

[Verse 1: Eminem]
Cool, calm, just like my mom
With a couple of Valium inside her palm
It's Mr. Mischief with a trick up his sleeve
To roll up on you like Christopher Reeves
I can't describe the vibe I get
When I drive by six people and five I hit (Whoops!)
Aw shit, I started a mosh pit
Squashed a bitch and stomped her foster kids
These shrooms make me hallucinate
Then I sweat 'til I start losin' weight
'Til I see dumb shit start happenin'
Dumber than Vanilla Ice tryin' to rap again
So bounce, bounce! Come on, bounce!
*Gunshots* I said come on, bounce!
Everybody in the house with a half an ounce (Me!)
Not weed, I meant coke; dumb-ass, sit down! (Oh)
We don't bullshit, better ask around
D12 throws the bombest bash in town
Bizarre, your mom is passin' out
Get her ass on the couch 'fore she crashes out (Come on)

[Verse 2: Kuniva, Kon Artis (& Eminem)]
Fuck that, someone help Denaun
He's upstairs naked with a weapon drawn
Hey Von, you see me steppin' on these leprechauns?
It gotta be acid 'cause the X is gone
Yeah, I took 'em all, dawg, with some Parmesan
And I think my arm is gone — No, it's probably numb
Young, dumb, and full of cum
And I think he 'bout to swallow his tongue
Scary-ass, it was a false alarm
You think I'm 'bout to die when I just got on?
Well, stop actin' stupid; you so high
That you might wake up with a guy on some new shit
Yeah, I think I did too much (Huh-uh)
This substance equals cuffs (Huh-uh)
Red pills, blue pills, and green
Big pills — (That's ill!) — Mescaline

[Chorus: Eminem]
I take a couple uppers
I down a couple downers
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountain
Once or twice, but who's countin'?
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills

[Bridge: Eminem]
Dirty Dozen, eighty of us
Shady brothers, ladies love us
That's why our baby mothers
Love us but they hate each other
They probably wanna take each other
Out and date each other
Some, some, some
Somethin'... I don't know

[Verse 3: Proof & Bizarre]
Pop pills, pills I pop
Pop two pills, on stilts I walk
Snort two lines that were filled with chalk
Thought I was incredible and killed the Hulk
I wanna roll away like a rollerblade
Until my eyes roll back in my skull for days
And when I'm old and gray look for dope to smoke?
No? Okey-doke, I'm packin' my nose with coke
(*Coughing*) Am I supposed to choke?
Had an accident when the Trojan broke
Ah, poor baby, born by a whore lady
Now I gotta strangle an {infant} (You're crazy!)

[Verse 4: Swift, Bizarre (& Eminem)]
I pop four E's at one time
And I don't need water when I'm swallowin' mine
(Hey, you got any shrooms?) Does Bizarre smoke crack?
We can't get jobs, 'cause our arms show tracks
Why the hell you niggas think I rap?
We do it just to get your company hijacked
If you like smack, then I might too
(Swift, chill!) I just wanna get high like you
And I don't give a damn if they white or blue (Huh-uh)
Speed, shrooms, down the Valiums (Huh-uh)
Even smoke weed out of vacuums
I just copped some and I'm goin' back soon

[Chorus: Eminem]
I take a couple uppers
I down a couple downers
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountain
Once or twice, but who's countin'?
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills

[Verse 5: Bizarre]
I'm at a rave, lookin' like a slave
High off chronic
Gin and tonic demonic
Body smell like vomit
Pussy poppin', acid droppin'
Dope-heady guy
Heroin mescaline
Pencil leads, wanna try?
Blue pills, golden seals
Got Bizarre actin' ill
Drugs kill (Yeah, right)
Bitch, I'm for real!
Shut yo' mouth, you dirty slut
You know you want it in your butt
I'll put it in your cunt
Let Bizarre nut!

[Chorus: Eminem]
I take a couple uppers
I down a couple downers
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountain
Once or twice, but who's countin'?
But nothin' compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills

[Bridge: Eminem]
Dirty Dozen, eighty of us
Shady brothers, ladies love us
That's why our baby mothers
Love us but they hate each other
They probably wanna take each other
Out and date each other
Some, some, some
Somethin'... I don't know

D12

D12 owned the crown when it comes to disgusting, grimy, and horrific lyrics, fitted to make the toughest stiff gasp. Each member had a split personality, hence “Dirty Dozen”. If you were looking for Dr. Seuss type lyrics, move along! D12’s music was something to let your anger out with… it was fight music.

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-Eminem (Slim Shady)