Released: February 17, 1996
Songwriter: Ian Gillan Roger Glover Jon Lord Steve Morse Ian Paice
Producer: Deep Purple
He was playing pool and drinking beer
Nothing more'n the occasional tear
But this man's life goes on (and) he gets greased
All over from time to time
At the strip joint, where we met
He said 'Hi, my name is Ted
See that one over there
That ball of thunder
Every time she goes Vavoom
I wiggle in my chair
Can I buy you a beer?
What a guy
'I've had a few myself' he said
'But I never quit when I'm ahead
Too many rules and regulations
Stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors
And another thing I won't discuss is religion
It always causes a fight
Vavoom
There she goes again
'How does she do that' said Ted
And he told me of those injustices (that)
He had suffered in his life
His wife and kids and boss and dogs
And neighbours raising cain and causing strife
They were forever whining
Bleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying
Vavoom
He fed them well
He keep them warm
Ted, Ted the mechanic!
Thing about Ted he didn't really care
Nothing much got in his hair
And the beauty of it was that he was right
He was big as a truck and fast as a door
(what's that?) he was always right
The banjo player took a hike
What's that song I used to like
Vavoom
Big as a truck
He was fast as a door - Ted
What a guy!
Ted the man, our Ted
Ted the man, our Ted
Ted the man, our Ted
Nothing more'n the occasional tear
But this man's life goes on (and) he gets greased
All over from time to time
At the strip joint, where we met
He said 'Hi, my name is Ted
See that one over there
That ball of thunder
Every time she goes Vavoom
I wiggle in my chair
Can I buy you a beer?
What a guy
'I've had a few myself' he said
'But I never quit when I'm ahead
Too many rules and regulations
Stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors
And another thing I won't discuss is religion
It always causes a fight
Vavoom
There she goes again
'How does she do that' said Ted
And he told me of those injustices (that)
He had suffered in his life
His wife and kids and boss and dogs
And neighbours raising cain and causing strife
They were forever whining
Bleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying
Vavoom
He fed them well
He keep them warm
Ted, Ted the mechanic!
Thing about Ted he didn't really care
Nothing much got in his hair
And the beauty of it was that he was right
He was big as a truck and fast as a door
(what's that?) he was always right
The banjo player took a hike
What's that song I used to like
Vavoom
Big as a truck
He was fast as a door - Ted
What a guy!
Ted the man, our Ted
Ted the man, our Ted
Ted the man, our Ted
more tracks from the album
From the albums
- Purpendicular (1996)
- Total Abandon: Australia ’99 (1999)
Deep Purple popular songs
- Smoke on the Water
- Soldier of Fortune
- Child in Time
- Perfect Strangers
- Highway Star
- Hush
- Burn
- When a Blind Man Cries
- Strange Kind of Woman
- All I Got Is You
- Knocking at Your Back Door
- Space Truckin’
- Black Night
- Lazy
- Speed King
- Stormbringer
- Fireball
- The Surprising
- Maybe I’m a Leo
- Pictures of Home
- Mistreated
- That’s Why God Is Singing The Blues
- Slow Down Sister
- Painted Horse