Released: May 15, 2009

Songwriter: Eminem Dr. Dre Mark Batson Dawaun Parker Trevor Lawrence Jr. Mike Elizondo

Producer: Dr. Dre

[Produced by Dr. Dre]

[Verse 1]
I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah, fucked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
'Til one night he snuck in and said
"We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed"
Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?
"After I fuck you in the butt, get some head
Bust a nut, get some rest," the next day my mother said
"I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid!
The bastard won't even eat nothing he's fed
He just hung himself in the bedroom, he's dead!"
"Debbie, don't let that fucker get you upset
Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck
I'll bet you he's fakin' it, I'll bet you, I bet
He probably just wants to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this, of course, unless you object?"
"Aw, go fuck his brains out if any's left in his head!"

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!

[Verse 2]
"Did you get him?" Nah, fucker tried to bite my face off
I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding-dong
That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
Everything except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac, that's Shady, dawg
Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dawg?
Shady, dawg, what be goin' through that fuckin' brain of yours?
Say no more, what the fuck you waitin' for? Sing along!

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!

[Verse 3]
Don't you know what felch means? ("Yeah") Well then, tell me
Would you rather get felched or do the felching?
Fuck 'em in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching (Urrp!)
Burp, belch, and go back for a second helping
Can you dig what I'm saying, man? Can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me (Oh...)
Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping
"Shady, what the fuck you saying?" — I don't know, help me!
What the fuck's happening? I think I'm fuckin' melting!
"Marshall, I just love you, boy, I care about your well-being"
No, Dad, I said no! — I don't need no help peeing
I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself, see?
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street
But it was X and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
"Well, this is called 'Ass Rape' and we're shooting the jail scene!"

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane

Eminem

A legendary hip-hop icon who started as an underground battle rapper in Detroit, Marshall “Eminem” Bruce Mathers III (1972 – present) has developed a career full of controversy, wild swings, and some of the most noteworthy raps in the history of the genre.

Eminem has broken countless barriers, shifting and impacting the culture in several ways. In June 2017, “Stan” was added into the Oxford Dictionary, and in 2019, to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. He was the first rapper to win the Grammy Award for Best Album for three consecutive albums. “Rap God” set the Guinness World Record for most words in a song. He was also the first rapper to win an Oscar. His albums The Marshall Mathers LP and The Eminem Show became certified Diamond by the RIAA in 2011, making him one of the few artists to have more than one Diamond album. This has helped him become the highest selling hip-hop artist of all time. In January 2020, with his 11th studio album Music to Be Murdered By debuting at #1 on the Billboard 200, Eminem became the first artist in history to have 10 consecutive #1 debuts.

Produced and co-signed by Dr. Dre, Em had an unprecedented run of success from 1999 up until 2003, releasing three well-reviewed multi-platinum albums, stealing the show on countless collaborations, and even starred in a hit movie. However, it all came crashing down around 2004, when a string of problems ranging from drug dependence to depression to the tragic death of best friend Deshaun “Proof” Holton in 2006 led to a long hiatus from music and a pair of what were, by his own admission, sub-par albums.