I Ain’t No JokeEric B. & Rakim

[Verse 1]
I ain't no joke, I used to let the mic smoke
Now I slam it when I'm done and make sure it's broke
When I'm gone no one gets on 'cause I won't let
Nobody press up and mess up the scene I set
I like to stand in a crowd and watch the people wonder damn
But think about it then you'll understand
I'm just an addict, addicted to music
Maybe it's a habit, I gotta use it
Even if it's jazz or the quiet storm
I hook a beat up, convert it into hip-hop form
Write a rhyme in graffitti in every show you see me in
Deep concentration 'cause I'm no comedian
Jokers are wild if you wanna be tame
I treat you like a child then you're gonna be named
Another enemy, not even a friend of me
'Cause you'll get fried in the end when you pretend to be
Competing 'cause I just put your mind on pause
And I can beat you when you compare my rhyme with yours
I wake you up, and as I stare in your face, you seem stunned
Remember me? The one you got your idea from?
But soon you start to suffer, the tune'll get rougher
When you start to stutter, that's when you had enough of
Biting it'll make you choke, you can't provoke
You can't cope, you should've broke because I ain't no joke

[Verse 2]
I got a question as serious as cancer:
Who can keep the average dancer hyper as a heart attack?
Nobody smiling
'Cause you're expressing the rhyme that I'm styling
This is what we all sit down to write
You can't make it, so you take it home, break it and bite
Use pieces and bits of all my hip-hop hits
Get the style down pat, then it's time to switch
Put my tape on pause and add some more to yours
Then you figure you're ready for the neighborhood tours
The E-M-C-E-E, don't even try to be
When you come up to speak, don't even lie to me
You like to exaggerate, dream, and imaginate
Then change the rhyme around—that can aggravate me
So when you see me come up, freeze
Or you'll be one of those seven emcees
They think that I'm a new jack but only if they knew that
They who think wrong are they who can't do that
Style that I'm doing, they might ruin
Patterns of paragraphs based on you and
Your off-beat DJ, if anything he play sound familiar
I'll wait 'til E say, "Play 'em"
So I'mma have to diss and broke
You could get a smack for this—I ain't no joke

[Verse 3]
I hold the microphone like a grudge
B'll hold the record so the needle don't budge
I hold a conversation 'cause what I invent
I nominated my DJ for president
When I emcee, I'll keep a freestyle going steadily
So pucker up and whistle my melody
But whatever you do, don't miss one
There'll be another rough rhyme after this one
Before you know it, you're following and fiending
Waiting for the punchline to get the meaning
Like before the moral of my story I'm telling
Nobody beats the R, so stop yelling
Save it, put it in your pocket for later
'Cause I'm moving the crowd, and B'll wreck the fader
No interruptions, and the mic is broke
When I'm gone, then you can joke
'Cause everything is real, on a serious tip
Keep playing and I get furious quick
And I'll take you for a walk through hell
Freeze your dome, then watch your eyeballs swell
Guide you out of triple-stage darkness
When it get dark again, then I'ma spark this microphone
'Cause the heat is on, you see smoke
And I'm finished when the beat is gone— I'm no joke