James In The Bathroom (2019 Tony Awards)James Corden

[JAMES CORDEN, sung]
I am hanging in the bathroom
Inside Radio City Musical Hall
I could stay right here because I fear
I shouldn't host the Tonys at all

You'd think being Tonys host
Would feel like sitting
On a Broadway throne

Now I'm against the wall
In this toilet stall
As I scroll through Twitter
On my phone

Reading people say
Corden's a talentless hag
And why CBS can't
Get Neil Patrick Harris back

Now I'm just James in the bathroom
James in the bathroom at the Tony's

Broadway's biggest fraud
I'm paranoid I'll fall
Or trip or rip my tux
Afraid that Anna Wintour think this outfit sucks
I'm just James who you don't know
James from the late late show
James in the bathroom by himself

[JOSH GROBAN, spoken]
You're not by yourself James

[JAMES CORDEN, spoken]
Josh Groban
How long have you been in the bathroom

[JOSH GROBAN, spoken]
Twelve months. Hosting the Tony's last year caused me such anxiety, I had to hide in the bathroom, and I still haven't left

[SARA BAREILLES, spoken]
Neither of us have

[JAMES CORDEN, spoken]
Sara Bareilles? I thought this was the mens' bathroom

[SARA BAREILLES, spoken]
It's 2019, James, get over it

[JOSH GROBAN, spoken]
Look we know that hosting the Tony's can leave you feeling empty

[SARAH BAREILLES & JOSH GROBAN, sung]
They think being Tony's host would give you
All the Broadway glory you seek
Till you remember you're the warm-up guy
For shows that sell out eight times a week
And inside your head, the voice of your mother cries
"You should've gone to law school!"
And your night's destroyed cause you're paranoid
That everyone would rather be watching Big Little Lies!

[ALL singing, JAMES CORDEN, JOSH GROBAN, SARAH BAREILLES]
But it's just hosts in the bathroom
Hosts in the bathroom at the Tony's
God, we truly suck
Will CBS get rid of hosts?
Like the Oscars did?
Will CBS swap us out
For that Young Sheldon kid?
Oh, we're just hosts that feel some loathing
Bloated in our clothing
Scared we'll make a stage gap
In front of Laurie Metcalf
God, she's such a treasure
That's why we won't leisure
Hanging in the bathroom by ourselves

[JAMES CORDEN]
Neil? Are you also hiding in the bathroom because you also having crippling insecurities?

[NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, spoken]
Insecurities?
No, I just had to use the bathroom