R.A. The Rugged Man

Released: April 17, 2020

Songwriter: R.A. The Rugged Man

Producer: Chris Conway The KickDrums

[Intro]
I-I don't... I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore...
I'm gonna kill... them

[Verse 1]
I'm 15, my name's Johnny, they say that I'm a sociopath
Cuz I kill squirrels and birds for a hobby
I build backyard bombs, I can teach ya
Aluminum foil and hydrochloric acid from toilet bowl cleaner
Basically girls don't date me, teachers hate me
I'm a pimpled faced loser, been picked on since grade 3
Called enough names, makin' chump change, my blood rains
I wanna punch brains, I wanna cut veins and blow up planes
My sister, she's a known whore, I hate my family
My dad is a cop, that fat pig just don't understand me
Fuck all the slutty loose hoes and cyber bullies and rube trolls
And rich kids in school makin' fun of my school clothes
Cryin' inside, dyin' inside and my mind is torture
I been diagnosed with more than just an anxiety disorder
Every dream I have shattered, everything dramatic, traumatic
The pain tragic, I wanna be dead, I wanna lay in traffic
Is my brain damaged? I was raised catholic
I prayed in the cathedral of St. Patrick but I'm hated in my age bracket
The kids in the school call me a gay faggot
Mental, I'm deadly, I'm ready
I'ma make 'em remember my name and they won't ever forget me

[Chorus 1]
Johnny
I'm-I'm-I'm 15
I wanna be somebody
My name's Johnny
They'll remember me

[Verse 2]
My mother love me, she's the only one that didn't judge me
I pledge allegiance to my dick, I hate this fuckin' country
They can die and kiss my dick, piss on the flag, spit on a fag
Fuck any bitch pig with a badge, I'm pissed like a bitch on the rag
I head to a gun-free zone, an ice cream parlor
They'll put me on Rolling Stone covers like the Boston bomber
Looks like a Norman Rockwell, All-American, nice scene
I walk in and see kids with their parents, eatin' ice cream
Innocent children smilin', I can't stand 'em like roaches
I got a semi-auto handgun and a bag of explosives
Sweat drippin', I'm shakin', the trigger, fuck it, I touch it
The gun goes off, I hit a 6-year-old boy in his stomach
He's crying, his mother's screamin', she and the little baby on the floor bleedin', ain't nobody leavin', it's time to get even
I start shooting, blood splatters on the curtain fabric
I feel like I'm high on acid
As the gunpowder explodes in slow mo, the gun flashes
I'm blackin' out, I see children fallin' and blood splashes
Blood on my eyeglasses, die bastards!
Gun, cock it, I'm steppin' in my own vomit
I can't believe I'm doin' this, it's too late, I'm all-in, I can't stop it
A disgrace livin', I'm hate-driven, I see a little girl dyin' on the floor
And a boy with his face missin'
I keep firin', a pregnant mother gets hit, customers trippin'
Over bodies runnin' towards the doors of the exit
I hear police sirens, I see the cops surrounded me
I notice a hole in my chest and blood flowin' outta me
Vision blurry, I'm frozen, bullets in my body explodin'
Blood and sweat soakin', feces and urine in my clothing
Bullet flies through my cheek, a bullet hit my neck, my neck broken
Vomit coming from my mouth, I'm spitting up blood, chokin'
I see flowers growin', I feel like I'm floatin'
I see my casket closin' and hear the voices of tortured souls moanin'
Like this

[Chorus]
I'm 15
My name's Johnny
I'll make 'em remember my name

[Verse 3]
The message: Cause some bodily harmin'
And become a master of murder and arson
And you could be the media's personal darlin'
They call blacks, thugs, and Muslims terrorists
But I'm white, so they say I could've been cured by medication and therapists
They blame Facebook, blame video games, they blame the pain
They blame the gun owners, they blame the bullies
It's a blame game
Blame the opposing politician's policies, but wait a minute
They blame parents, everybody but me
I'm the one that did it
The conspiracy theorists and every Alex Jones fan
Is claimin' I was part of a CIA mind control program
I got what I wanted, attention, fame, I'm on TV
No one cares about the names of the victims or their family
I'm the super star, the ratings booster, I'm media friendly
And all the glorification is helpin' to create the next me

R.A. Thorburn better known by his stage name R.A. the Rugged Man, is an American rapper, screenwriter, film director and film producer. He began his music career at age 12, building a reputation locally for his lyrical skills. R.A. signed to major label Jive Records at age 18, but his debut album, Night of the Bloody Apes, was never released.

Since then, he has worked with the likes of Mobb Deep, Wu-Tang Clan, Kool G Rap, and Notorious B.I.G., as well as producers Erick Sermon, Trackmasters, DJ Quik, The Alchemist, J-Zone, and Ayatollah.[citation needed] He was featured on all three of Rawkus’s Soundbombing albums, as well as the platinum-selling WWF Aggression album. After a brief stint on Capitol Records (during which he recorded another unreleased album, American Lowlife), R.A. signed with independent label Nature Sounds and released his official debut, Die, Rugged Man, Die.[4] In 2013, R.A. released his second album, Legends Never Die on Nature Sounds

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