Released: November 15, 1974

Songwriter: Hoyt Axton David Jackson

Producer: Richard Perry

[Intro]
Huh-huh! Huh-huh
(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
(Aye-aye-aye-aye)

[Verse 1]
A lady that I know just came from Colombia
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out some marijuana, ha ha!
She said it was the best in all the land

[Chorus]
And I said
"No, no, no, no, I don't smoke it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please, it only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door"

(Ah-ah-aye-aye)

[Verse 2]
A woman that I know just came from Mallorca, Spain
She smiled because I did not understand (Parazzi! Parazzi!) (Olé!)
Then she held out a ten pound bag of cocaine
She said it was the finest in the land

[Chorus]
And I said
"No, no, no, no, I don't [sniff] no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please, it only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door"

[Bridge]
(Aye-aye-aye-aye)
(Aye-aye-aye-aye)
(Aye-aye-aye-aye)
(Aye-aye-aye)

[Verse 3]
A man I know just came from Nashville, Tennessee, oh (oh no!)
He smiled because I did not understand
Then he held out some moonshine whiskey, oh ho
He said it was the best in all the land (and he wasn't joking!)

[Chorus]
And I said
"No, no, no, no, I don't drink it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please, it only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door"

[Chorus]
Well, I said
"No, no, no, no, I can't take it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please, it only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door"

[Outro]
Hey, yeah!
"I'll just have another drink, barman, have you got a large brandy?"

Ringo Starr

Best known as the drummer for The Beatles, Ringo Starr (born Richard Starkey, 1940) also had a moderately successful solo career (with hits like “It Don’t Come Easy” and “Photograph”) and was the narrator for Thomas The Tank Engine.

His country-infused nickname emerged from a tendency to wear rings on his fingers.