Watsky

Released: August 1, 2011

Songwriter: Watsky

“I don’t want to brag, but
I spent so much time at the top
That I got caught for loitering

I insulated my house with swag
And got swag poisoning

The righteous path is like my waist:
Real narrow
I sprint along it, pushing all my swagger
In a wheel barrow

But I’m over swagger
See these poser rappers
Think they’re goblins but they're goobers
So I gobble’em
You battle me, you’re gonna have a white boy problem!

And I guess that I should stop at nothing
Now to rock’em, sock’em, knock’em dead
But I don’t want to waste my breath
I’ve got respect for oxygen
And I don’t want to walk a block in Waka Flocka’s moccasins

The heap of crappy rap online’s colossal
It could topple, I don’t know why I bother to scoff at the debacle
But you’re so awful that I have to LOL and ROFL

You’re a lost dog, I’m a boss hog
And damn svelte
Actually, um, I really need to hold my pants up
And I’d rather use the champ’s belt
Or I’ll just go nudist in my human pelt
I mean, I think it’s super that you’re looking for a tutor
You could use the help
I’m wiser than my age
And so I plagiarize my future self

I’m not ashamed of intelligence
I came to the game with all relevant elements
A liquid flow so solid that I had to gassen’em
I go bananas just to boost my dosage of potassium
To push it to the maximum
To pop my pecs and flex in the excellence

You know I get it
I’d be pissed off too if I got bested
By a thin, self-deprecating, lisping Jew
But what’s-a boy to do?

I mean I only end my pieces so the audience can get closure
I go ham and it’s still kosher
I mean if you’re unsure if my boast or brag is a joke
I’ll try to let you know in subtle ways
My punchlines are lost baggage:
You should get’em in a couple days

But hey, there’s no cypher I won’t jump in
I’m liable to say somethin'
Screw a stand-in, I do all my own stuntin’
No steroids or supplements
Me in the game’s an odd sight, like
Non-white Republicans

Herman Cain’s, Bobby Jindal’s
I can’t explain it so I just
Throw in some Illuminati symbols
Pop these simpletons like pimples
Be very visionary
With a very busy world like Richard Scarry
While your picture’s next to ‘dingleberry’ in the dictionary

I don’t sling rocks, I bling lots
Ask Gringott’s
You should know me
I chucked homes like OE, OD and go cold turkey
I’m the young, clean version of Old Dirty

You’re a toy

You’re a toy that’s slapped together, packed and sold from factories
That’s why it’s easy for me to play whack-a-mole with wack MCs
I’m the common factor linking 2Pac, Babe the Blue Ox, and the Maccabees
In fact I snack on wack MCs like a blue box of mac and cheese.”

(Backing track: Ludacris - 'Go 2 Sleep' starts here)

These baby MCs all look hecka tuckered out
So I tuck 'em in or stick a sucker in these suckers' mouths
I'm like "bucka bucka bucka" you can't sit yet
And when you spit up, it's like you learned to spit from dipset
I got a double-barrelled Nerf gun and I'll clap mine
When I go "brap" I'm sending rappers to nap time
Sit on my lap, and by reciting your wack rhymes back
I send you to a sleep that's so deep you flat-line
You've got a little tuft of hair but can't afford a wig
Which sucks because your head is disproportionately big
It's a beacon of weakness, I can see it from space
Jesus it's freakish, but you're no baby genius
You're an average baby at best, a dumb baby at worst
I go "humm baby" and talk trash when I'm rounding first
These MCs are ticklish. You want a little sip?
You get hungry instead of horny when you see that nipple slip

A successful slam poet turned rapper, Watsky first gained attention through ‘Russell Simmons’ HBO Def Poetry,’ and a later burst of viral success for his fast rapping. At every turn, Watsky has refused to be pigeonholed, following up his speed rap success with 2013 LP Cardboard Castles, an eccentric ode to creativity, and 2014’s Anderson. Paak-produced All You Can Do. After a hiatus to work on new material, Watsky pivots again, this time to prose, returning simultaneously with the essay collection How To Ruin Everything, published by Plume/Penguin-Random House, of which Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda writes, “funny, subversive […] you find yourself nodding your head in wonder and recognition.” How To Ruin Everything debuted in the New York Times best-selling list. In total, he has created five studio albums and two live albums. Watsky released his fifth album, x INFINITY August 2016, describing it as his most ambitious project yet. Most recently, in January of 2019, he released a short album called Complaint.

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A New Kind of Sexy