9 - Yes, TodayA.D. Carson

"[1]
Yesterday I had to check myself a couple times—
Write a couple rhymes
Hit my brother line
Ask if it’s another sign

I ain’t had enough of trying
But I’m wearing down
Feels like another obstacle I’m staring down

And I feel like sharing now
So I tell him how I feel
He feel me and he tell me, “That’s how everybody feel.”

And I know it, but I wanna wallow just a little longer—
Stay up on the phone until I feel a little stronger

Judge me if you wanna. I ain’t got a worry
Tomorrow is another day. I ain’t tryna hurry

Vision kind of blurry. Hoping to see better
Better see the better in the day before it’s “Yes to…”

[2]
Last night I bought a bottle, and prob’ly shouldn’t be saying it
I ain’t drink it, but think it’s a metaphor for my day
It’s the way it can make you feel
Like nothing’s really a deal
The pleasure and the appeal
Is waiting behind the seal

Just break it open and guzzle it
Feel it, and then say “fuck it.”
Since nothing is permanent, my sobriety had it’s turn and it’s time

Resigned to the life that I live now
My cup is filled up, I don’t want it to spill out

To see it pouring down the drain is therapeutic
I know it sounds insane to say I never want to do it again
But still spend what I earned to make that purchase

That kind of temptation is dangerous. Is it worth it?"