Released: May 11, 2018

Songwriter: Alex Turner

Producer: Alex Turner James Ford

[Verse 1]
I just wanted to be one of The Strokes
Now look at the mess you made me make
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
I'm a big name in deep space, ask your mates
But golden boy's in bad shape
I found out the hard way that
Here ain't no place for dolls like you and me
Everybody's on a barge
Floating down the endless stream of great TV
1984, 2019

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Karate bandana, warp speed chic
Hair down to there, impressive moustache
Love came in a bottle with a twist-off cap
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap

[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
Baby, that isn't how they look tonight, oh no
It took the light forever to get to your eyes

[Verse 2]
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts
You thought that you could forget
And then I haunt you via the rear view mirror
On a long drive from the back seat
But it's alright, 'cause you love me
And you recognise that it ain't how it should be
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly
So pull over, I know the place
Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
Jukebox in the corner, "Long Hot Summer"
They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Oh, maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Elevator down to my make-believe residency
From the honeymoon suite
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Easy money

[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
Oh, baby, that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes

[Outro]
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
Yeah, and as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
It's the star treatment
The star treatment

Arctic Monkeys

Arctic Monkeys are an English rock band formed in 2002 in High Green, a suburb of Sheffield, England. The band consists of Alex Turner (lead vocals, rhythm/lead guitar), Matt Helders (drums, vocals), Jamie Cook (lead/rhythm guitar) and Nick O'Malley (bass, backing vocals). Former band member Andy Nicholson (bass guitar, backing vocals) left the band in 2006 shortly after their debut album was released. Their sound has changed extensively from album to album, gradually evolving from raw, youthful post-punk revival music to R ‘n’ B and jazz-inspired experiments.

All four original members of the band were devoted fans of hip-hop when they were younger, a genre that would have an immense influence on their later work, but it was the sound of The Strokes and The Libertines that would help shape their early style. The Arctic Monkeys became one of the first bands to find fame and recognition purely through internet publicity and social media; the Arctics used to sell their demos CDs at a bar where Alex Turner used to work, but due to the limited number of CDs, their fans started to upload them on the internet.

Initially, they refused to sign a record contract with any label through fear that they would want the band to change their songs, going as far as to refuse scouts guaranteed entry into their gigs. However, they eventually signed with Domino because of the “do it yourself” attitude of founder, Lawrence Bell, who ran the label from his own house.