Bette Midler

Songwriter: Bette Midler

Producer: Aaron Russo Arif Mardin Lew Hahn

Oh God, Oh God, life is real life
Is when you wanna sing Polly-Wally-Doodle all the day
Well you know, I may well be a sequel to Jaws
In which a shark is attacked by a great white woman
Actually I'm not going to do the sequel to Jaws at all
I'm making the sequel to 'Emanuelle'
I call it 'Temple Emanuelle'. Actually it's not dirty at all
It's just a lot of kissing and mezzuzas
And er, one singular sub-plot
In which a woman who has an un-natural relationship with a Kreplach
I know there must be one or two of you out there
Who haven't got the vaguest idea what the hell is a Kreplach
And to both of you I say...
A Kreplach is a person from Kreplachia
Which is a very small fishing nation wedged between Estonia and Latvia
You don't hear from them too much since the iron curtain fell!
But every now and again, one or two Kreplach's manage to escape...
But NEVER to Cleveland!
[Audience Member:] YES!
[Audeince Member:] Not True!
What!?
There we have one Kreplach
Who one Kreplach that managed to get to Cleveland!
In fact, I venture to say that was the Kreplach that ate Cleveland!
[Audience Member:] Are you sure!?
No, Belle Barth used to say:
'Shut your hole honey, mines making money!'
[Audience Member:] OH!
Ooh, she didn't say that!
I never said that
I didn't say that
I never said that!
Oh did you hear the news!?
You haven't heard the news
I must tell you the news
I am the harbinger of news here
I slept with Jack kennedy
[Bette Laughs]
You wanna know what else!?
They slept with Jack Kennedy!
[Points to the Harlette's]
Talk about your "Bay of Pigs"! Really
Oh, I'm sorry Girls
Oh my God
Oh God
Oh God
Alright
Oh God
Oh God
Oh God
Oh God
Alright
Alright
Alright!
Please forgive me everyone!
Please forgive me!
Just a little yolk
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

Bette Midler is a Grammy-winning singer, songwriter, comedienne and actress. Named in honor of Bette Davis, Midler’s career began performing off-broadway until she developed the stage persona The Divine Miss M while singing at the world-famous Continental Baths gay bathhouse. A pre-fame Barry Manilow, the venue’s in-house piano player, produced her Grammy-nominated debut album which scored three US top 40 singles including the Grammy-nominated “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”. Midler took home the Best New Artist Grammy that year, her first of three career wins.

Throughout the 1970s, Midler found further success with music, Broadway, television and film. The Rose, Midler’s 1979 acting debut, earned her both Oscar and Academy Award nominations, and its namesake song won her a Golden Globe and another Grammy – also giving Midler her first success overseas.

The early 1980s proved less successful for Midler with four under-performing singles and a box office flop with the film Jinxed. However, the second half of the decade would prove far more fruitful with a handful of very successful films including Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Ruthless People, Outrageous Fortune and Beaches, the latter featuring a chart-topping cover of “Wind Beneath My Wings” that won Midler her third Grammy and is considered one of the greatest songs in American film history.

more tracks from the album

Live at Last

From the album

Live at Last (1977)

Bette Midler popular songs

Comic ReliefBette Midler

Bette Midler

Live at Last