Producer: Earl Sweatshirt
[Verse 1: FR33STYLE]
It all started when Grandma handed me the phone
I could tell something was wrong by the look and her tone
My uncle let me know I got down on one knee and froze
I couldn't come up with any words just handed my mom the phone
Before I knew it I was holding Grandma close
She was streaming tears and they were the most
I'd seen since Grandpa went to his home
I mean there was no holding back and I began to let go
Overcome by grief, my mom joined and the tears rolled
From there I went through different stages
Disbelief, flowing tears, uncontrollable rage
It's hard to explain all the thoughts in my brain
So stunned, and I was already done with that day
Went to the park to clear my mind and just run
Ran a mile too fast and my asthma acted up
I took a lap to walk and just send a prayer up to God
Leave everything in His hands cause I was taking it hard
Couldn't breathe, later that night I couldn't sleep
I just felt like I would throw up
Hoping the next day wouldn't show up and let me know this is real
Its so difficult for me because I can't truly relate how I feel
Breaking it to friends, I couldn't help but break down
God didn't make men brave enough to deal with this kind of heartbreak
It aches, my body feels weak after the weekend
I was barely speaking, so quiet
Like the hours after we found out
The world changed, all the noise couldn't drown out our thoughts
Looking back on holidays, us at the kid's table
Each meal we'd finish up real quick so we were able
To go to the backyard and play spies
Up on the rooftop, only came in for pumpkin pie
Spent hours on the trampoline each 4th of July
Just wasting time, having fun under the blue skies
Reminds me of the times we were up at the cabin
Exploring the outdoors, staying up late and laughing
You were with me one of the few times I've gone fishing
Caught three little ones that day and it has me wishing
I wish I knew what you were going through
I wish I would have spent more time with you
I wish I could've been there for your birthday last December
I wish I had more recent events to remember
I wish the list of memories could be longer
I wish you weren't gone because I would often ponder
What it would be like years down the road
Maybe families of our own
Only two months apart, but honestly
I still looked up to you when we were younger
Circumstances changed later on but I still liked to wonder
No matter what, we shared the same love of music
A constant topic - and we connected through it
You knew this song before I showed you, already had it on repeat
That's exactly why I'm using this beat, not for another remix
Because music is not my focus
To find my own way to cope is
And through that I've come to discover
This might make a man out of me and allow me to step up for your brothers
They care for you just like your friends from Luther Prep
They'll never forget what you meant to them
Me neither
Love you man
It all started when Grandma handed me the phone
I could tell something was wrong by the look and her tone
My uncle let me know I got down on one knee and froze
I couldn't come up with any words just handed my mom the phone
Before I knew it I was holding Grandma close
She was streaming tears and they were the most
I'd seen since Grandpa went to his home
I mean there was no holding back and I began to let go
Overcome by grief, my mom joined and the tears rolled
From there I went through different stages
Disbelief, flowing tears, uncontrollable rage
It's hard to explain all the thoughts in my brain
So stunned, and I was already done with that day
Went to the park to clear my mind and just run
Ran a mile too fast and my asthma acted up
I took a lap to walk and just send a prayer up to God
Leave everything in His hands cause I was taking it hard
Couldn't breathe, later that night I couldn't sleep
I just felt like I would throw up
Hoping the next day wouldn't show up and let me know this is real
Its so difficult for me because I can't truly relate how I feel
Breaking it to friends, I couldn't help but break down
God didn't make men brave enough to deal with this kind of heartbreak
It aches, my body feels weak after the weekend
I was barely speaking, so quiet
Like the hours after we found out
The world changed, all the noise couldn't drown out our thoughts
Looking back on holidays, us at the kid's table
Each meal we'd finish up real quick so we were able
To go to the backyard and play spies
Up on the rooftop, only came in for pumpkin pie
Spent hours on the trampoline each 4th of July
Just wasting time, having fun under the blue skies
Reminds me of the times we were up at the cabin
Exploring the outdoors, staying up late and laughing
You were with me one of the few times I've gone fishing
Caught three little ones that day and it has me wishing
I wish I knew what you were going through
I wish I would have spent more time with you
I wish I could've been there for your birthday last December
I wish I had more recent events to remember
I wish the list of memories could be longer
I wish you weren't gone because I would often ponder
What it would be like years down the road
Maybe families of our own
Only two months apart, but honestly
I still looked up to you when we were younger
Circumstances changed later on but I still liked to wonder
No matter what, we shared the same love of music
A constant topic - and we connected through it
You knew this song before I showed you, already had it on repeat
That's exactly why I'm using this beat, not for another remix
Because music is not my focus
To find my own way to cope is
And through that I've come to discover
This might make a man out of me and allow me to step up for your brothers
They care for you just like your friends from Luther Prep
They'll never forget what you meant to them
Me neither
Love you man
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