Released: June 18, 2021

Songwriter: John Lennon Paul McCartney Frank Zappa

Jim... once had a girl, or should we say, she once had he
She... showed him her room, isn't it swell, Texas Motel
She asked him to stay and she told him to sit anywhere
So Jim looked around and he noticed there wasn't a prayer

Jim... took off his rug, biding his time, pounding his pud
He... prayed until two, and then she said, "How 'bout some head?"

She said she was booked in the morning with Falwell and Pat
Jim told her he wasn't, and dribbled some spoo in her lap

And... when he awoke, hе was alone, she'd honed his conе
So... he let her fly, isn't it swell, Texas Motel

But then, suddenly...

Picture yourself with a whore in New Orleans
With big purple welts, all over her bod
Somebody calls and you answer quite slowly
It's the board from Assembly O' God

Ignorant crackers like you've never seen, groveling under your bed
Look for the girl with the spoo in her lap, and she's gone!

Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww!

We saw her go down to a room by the airport
Where Swaggart gets off watching pornography
Everyone smiles as we tread through his horseshit
That grows so incredibly high

Newspaper writers appear at his door, waiting to take Jim away
He climbs in the back with his head up his ass, and he's gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes
[everybody!] Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww!

Picture yourself on your own TV station
With brain-dead supporters with tears in their eyes
Suddenly someone is there at commercial
The girl with the pee-hole surprise

Louisiana hooker with herpes
[Last chance to sing it!] Louisiana hooker with herpes
[I can't hear you!]Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww! Ow!

Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww! Ow!

Suddenly the evil Swaggart looks at the hooker and says...

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's nothing to get hung about
Please leave your cash on the table

Weeping looks better with eyes closed...
While I'm confessing all my sins
[I've sinned, I tell you!]
It's getting hard to plook someone, but it all works out
It's all pornography to Jim

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
We might go to hell
But we'll have lots of company
Falwell and Pat and that weasel

No one knows who's in my dream...
I mean it must be high or low
I mean, I can't you know, tune in, but it's all right
That is, I think it's not too bad

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's just some jizz from Jimmy-boy
How 'bout some hay for the donkey? [Hee-haw!]

No one knows, sometimes think it's me...
[Ed Meese, ladies & gentlemen] But you know, I know when I don't know
[The Golden Peasant himself]
I think I know, I mean, I guess, but it's all wrong
[And we believe him]
That is, I think I disagree. [Uhh...]

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's just some old pornography
Just keep on strokin' that sausage
Just keep on strokin' that sausage
[Jimmy-boy!] Just keep on strokin' that sausage

Frank Zappa

(1940-1993) Composer, guitarist, singer, and bandleader Frank Zappa was a singular musical figure during a performing and recording career that lasted from the 1960s to the ‘90s. His disparate influences included doo wop music and avant-garde classical music; although he led groups that could be called rock & roll bands for much of his career, he used them to create a hybrid style that bordered on jazz and complicated, modern serious music, sometimes inducing orchestras to play along.

As if his music were not challenging enough, he overlay it with highly satirical and sometimes abstractly humorous lyrics and song titles that marked him as coming out of a provocative literary tradition that included Beat poets like Allen Ginsberg and edgy comedians like Lenny Bruce. Nominally, he was a popular musician, but his recordings rarely earned significant airplay or sales, yet he was able to gain control of his recorded work and issue it successfully through his own labels while also touring internationally, in part because of the respect he earned from a dedicated cult of fans and many serious musicians, and also because he was an articulate spokesman who promoted himself into a media star through extensive interviews he considered to be a part of his creative effort just like his music.

The Mothers of Invention, the ‘60s group he led, often seemed to offer a parody of popular music and the counterculture (although he affected long hair and jeans, Zappa was openly scornful of hippies and drug use). By the '80s, he was testifying before Congress in opposition to censorship (and editing his testimony into one of his albums). But these comic and serious sides were complementary, not contradictory.