“Weird Al” Yankovic

Released: May 20, 2003

Songwriter: The Matrix Avril Lavigne “Weird Al” Yankovic

Producer: “Weird Al” Yankovic

[Intro]
Uh-huh... extra cheese
Uh-huh, uh-huh... save a piece for me

[Verse 1]
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"
So then I faced

[Pre-Chorus]
Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity
Tell me...

[Chorus]
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No, no, no...

[Verse 2]
I was feelin' pretty down
'Til my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

[Pre-Chorus]
Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I'd suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me
Tell me...

[Chorus]
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin, we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no

[Verse 3]
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

[Pre-Chorus]
Said not to stand
But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me...

[Chorus]
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now
Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh, no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No, no, no...

Alfred Matthew “Weird Al” Yankovic, born October 23, 1959, is widely praised as one of the greatest comedy musicians of all time. He’s best known for direct parodies that rewrite the lyrics of popular songs, but he has also written dozens of original songs.

A Lynwood, California native and graduate of Cal Poly San Luis Obispo (or better known as California Polytechnic State University), “Weird Al” released his eponymous debut album in 1983. Since then, Al has released 13 more studio albums, with the latest being Mandatory Fun.

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