[Verse 1]
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

[Chorus]
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime, you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

[Verse 2]
How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate God when you're a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success

[Chorus]
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime, you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

[Bridge]
I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

[Chorus]
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime, you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

[Verse 3]
How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a-la-holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything

[Chorus]
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime, you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime, you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

Alanis Morissette

Alanis Nadine Morissette was born on June 1, 1974, in Ottawa, Canada. At age 6, she began taking piano lessons, and by the time she was 9, she was writing her own songs.

When she was 11, Morissette joined the cast of a Nickelodeon children’s show called You Can’t Do That on Television, and saved up her earnings. In 1987, she used them to self-release her first track, “Fate Stay With Me.” The song caught the attention of record label MCA Canada; at age 14, Morissette signed a contract with the company. She released a self-titled album, Alanis, in 1991, which went platinum. Quickly following up the success of her first album, Morissette released Now Is The Time a year later, though it did not reach the same level of popularity.

In 1994 Morissette moved to Los Angeles teamed up with industry veteran Glen Ballard, and she began to approach songwriting more organically.