Alice Cooper

Released: September 23, 2003

Songwriter: Ryan Roxie Eric Dover Alice Cooper

Producer: Mudrock Alice Cooper

Wrote a song, it was wrong from it's very first conception
Seemed I struggled on every line
It wasn't fast, wasn't pretty, wasn't serious or witty
The song that didn't rhyme

The band couldn't wing it, the singer couldn't sing it
The Drummer's always out of time
The DJ's were offended, my union card suspended
Billboard declared it a crime

The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don't flow but I can't get it out of my mind
A three minute waste of your time
On a song that didn't rhyme

It was bland, it was boring, all the groupies there were snoring
The first time we played it live
All the record guys got fired, the president retired
But somehow the song survived

The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don't flow but I can't get it out of my mind
The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don't flow but I can't get it out of my mind
A three minute waste of your time
No redeeming value of any kind
But thanks for the twelve ninety nine
On a song that didn't rhyme

Alice Cooper is the stage name and ‘fun villain’ character of Vincent Furnier. Cooper became the target of parents and ministers for his dark lyrics and gory theatrical performances that earned him the title Godfather of Shock Rock. Despite once claiming the name was conjured from a ouija board that told him he’s the reincarnation of a 17th century witch, Cooper laughs the topic off with flippant answers like “It was either a Scrabble board or a bowl of alphabet soup” and “I didn’t want a name like Iron Butterfly or Black Sabbath. I wanted it to be something your aunt might be called.”

The band Alice Cooper was originally signed by Frank Zappa to his own record label. Their first notoriety came when Cooper tossed a wayward chicken (possibly arranged by long-time manager Shep Gordon) into the crowd, who then tore it apart at the 1969 Toronto Rock ‘n’ Roll Revival Festival. Newspapers claimed he’d bit the bird’s head off and drank its blood. Zappa advised them to not deny the story and Cooper used it as inspiration to make his character darker.

The band’s teaming with producer Bob Ezrin for their third album Love It To Death led to their US breakthrough with a top 30 hit “I’m Eighteen” in early 1971. By then, the band was already infamous for their stage show, which had escalated into simulated torture and executions. That same year, Killer was released with its two singles “Under My Wheels” and “Be My Lover” finding moderate US success, and both albums being certified gold the following year.

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