Cosmo Jarvis

Released: November 16, 2009

Songwriter: Cosmo Jarvis

Producer: Cosmo Jarvis

Yeah, we got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
'Cause it's all your fault
Yeah it's all your fault!

Gary's forty-five
He wears a tie to work
And wants to be the head of client relations
He got married ten years too early
"I want a divorce" she says
"But I get the car
And I get the kids
I know this is is unexpected
Frankly I don't give a shit"

Gary was a good father
He'd rather try for custody
"I love you kids but I can't pay
For you to come and live with me"
Thirty-first of August was the hearing
Gary's lawyer's shite
Gary's burning inside
But he cannot cry, got too much pride

She starts to say he abused her
Never once did that
Because she is a woman
Did the judge fucking kissed her ass
Judge gave her everything
And auctioned off the kids as well
Gary knew he'd never see them
Waits to see that bitch in hell

She went away with over
Half the marital assets
He's sobbing in the car park
Cause the day's as bad as it gets
"Kids I'll see you soon okay
You're gonna live with mummy now
Mummy took my money and my children
Cause she's a lovely cow."

Yeah, we got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
'Cause it's all your fault
Yeah it's all your fault!

Jenny's forty-two
She lives with some guy, some place
She's got a lotta memories
Inside that brain behind her face
She left her last husband
Because she met another guy
But she could never tell him this
Instead she made up total lies

She lives with all this guilt
Every day inside her head
Gary disappeared for good
They locked him up ‘cause of what she said
The kids will never known the truth
About why they don't have a dad
"Kids this is my new friend Dave
Dave is good and daddy's bad."

Never took them to see Gary
Put an end to all phone-calls
Gary wants to break out now
And take a knife to her eyeballs
Family's not good
Family's not a friend
What's the point in starting one
If it's just gonna end

Gary and Jenny
Whatcha got?
Two beautiful kids
You fucked up a lot
An unpaid mortgage
A brand new guy
And an ex who wants
To end your life

The only funny thing that I can think of all that's in mind
Is when you met you said you'd be together ‘til the end of time

Yeah, we got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
'Cause it's all your fault
Yeah it's all your fault!

Yeah, we got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know…

Fuck yeah!
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
We got problems of our own
And I think that you should know
'Cause it's all your fault
Yeah it's all your fault!

Critic, journalist, sometime musician, onetime actor, and full-time Midwesterner Mark Deming provides a discographic-based biography for Cosmo Jarvis:

“Singer, songwriter, and filmmaker Cosmo Jarvis has earned a devoted following for his witty, often satiric tunes about the foibles of relationships and contemporary life, often rooted in personal experience, as well as his own self-produced videos and short subjects that have given his work a global online audience. Harrison Cosmo Krikoryan Jarvis was born on September 1, 1989 in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Jarvis' family relocated to the United Kingdom when he was young, and he grew up in Devon in Southwest England. Jarvis began writing songs when he was only 12 years old, around the same time he began making short films using a VHS video camera. While Jarvis' early videos were little more than documentation of pranks played with his friends, with time he began constructing more complex narratives, and similarly his songs began to evolve, ranging from folk-inspired acoustic guitar pieces and elaborate pop tunes to tongue-in-cheek hip-hop tracks.

At the age of 16, Jarvis quit school to focus on his creative work, and in 2009 he wrote and produced his debut album, an 18-song set called Humasyouhitch/Sonofabitch, which was released by the British indie label Wall of Sound. The album combined Jarvis' observational tunes with a cycle of songs reflecting the emotional turmoil of his parents' stormy relationship. Humasyouhitch/Sonofabitch received enthusiastic notices from the British music press, but it didn’t sell especially well, and Jarvis teamed with 25th Frame for his second release, Is the World Strange or Am I Strange? A track from the album, “Gay Pirates,” became an Internet sensation after Jarvis' low-budget video for the song was endorsed in a Twitter post by actor and author Stephen Fry, and subsequent airplay helped make the second album a commercial success. While continuing to tour, write songs, and record music, Jarvis has also been writing and directing a feature film, provisionally titled The Naughty Room. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi"

more tracks from the album

Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch

From the album

Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch (2009)

Cosmo Jarvis popular songs

ProblemsCosmo Jarvis

Cosmo Jarvis

Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch