Released: February 28, 1984

Songwriter: “Weird Al” Yankovic Sting

Producer: Rick Derringer

[Verse 1:]
There's a sale on our gabardine suits today
They're all thirty percent off from yesterday
There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool and tweed
Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need

[Chorus 1:]
We've got every color, we've got ev'ry shade
We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
We got every fabric that was ever made
But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede

[Verse 2:]
We got portly and regular and extra-long
(Is my size up there?)
We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong
(Is my size up there?)
We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick
(Is my size up there?)
With the collars ripped off, like in that Flashdance flick
(Is my size up there?)

[Chorus 2:]
Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid
You can buy off the rack or have it custom made
And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade
Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede

[Verse 3:]
If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom
(Is my size up there?)
We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan
(Is my size up there?)
We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too
(Is my size up there?)
And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you
(Is my size up there?)

[Chorus 3:]
Well, I never made it past the second grade
It took all of my life for me to learn this trade
But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made
Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede

[Bridge:]
There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits
Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose
Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes
King of Suede

[Verse 4:]
Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale
(Is my size up there?)
Look for our color catalog in next week's mail
(Is my size up there?)
There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today
It's the same old sale as yesterday

[Chorus 4:]
Thirty years in the same location I have stayed
There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
I got tough competition but I'm not afraid
Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede

[Outro:]
King of Suede
King of Suede
King of Suede
I'll always be King of Suede
I'll always be King of Suede

“Weird Al” Yankovic

Alfred Matthew “Weird Al” Yankovic, born October 23, 1959, is widely praised as one of the greatest comedy musicians of all time. He’s best known for direct parodies that rewrite the lyrics of popular songs, but he has also written dozens of original songs.

A Lynwood, California native and graduate of Cal Poly San Luis Obispo (or better known as California Polytechnic State University), “Weird Al” released his eponymous debut album in 1983. Since then, Al has released 13 more studio albums, with the latest being Mandatory Fun.